Thank the lord August is over! I do feel better now.

Start of August 2008 BR = $475.69
End of August 2008 BR = $472.97

Absolute nightmare month! I have a fair idea what happened as well. I consciously and intentionally broke my one primary rule early in the month, I reconciled before the end of the August. This begs the question, why did I do it? I'll have to back track a little to answer this.

After such a good performance in July, I was bankrolled to move up a level in SnG's. I stopped playing the $3 games and moved to $6 games. Expecting the game play to be exactly the same was a big mistake. I played 122 games with a 35% ITM rate but -10% ROI. Looking back, I should have treated these games with a little more caution when I first started them. Also, a suggestion from a CC member asked, am I playing a little scared to which the answer was yes.

Back to the main point I reconciled early because of a few very bad days early in the month.

August 11 - lost $57.20
August 13 - lost $42.33
August 14 - lost $56.40

Losing over $150 in 3 days, I knew my BR was damaged and I also knew I'd have to step back down in games I played. The main reason I reconciled was I wanted to see the percentage of BR lost in 1 day.

See, I've had bad days and losing streaks before this year, but I've bounced back from it. As upset as I was to have lost so much money in such a short period of time I had to see if it had ever been worse than this. Fortunately for me the answer was yes.

February 28 2008, I lost 19.31% of my total poker BR. If my daily losses on August 11, 13 or 14 were lower than this day, I knew, with discipline and solid play, I could make it back.

My losses were on these 3 days were
-10.1%
-8%
-11.58%

Once I saw these figures I was not happy but not as upset as I'd expect myself to be.

You see, if I lost $10,000 tomorrow, I'd probably jump off my balcony (not really but I'd be very upset!) But if I lost $10,000 when my poker BR is $1,000,000 that's only a 1% deficit which I can come back from. So in a way it was good to reconcile, but it ruined my plan for the month. I looked at my losses as big drops in cash, yet these days did not damage my BR as bad as I thought at the time. I must re-iterate the primary rule of not focusing on money and only playing my A grade game.

I also feel very bad as I've not blogged nearly enough as I wanted too. To be honest, with such a bad financial outcome I was spending too much time playing. Over-playing can lead to big losses some days, which is what happened to me this month. Aside from playing as well as I can, I intend on being a lot more active on my blog next month as I enjoy all feedback I get from other players.

Well, it's over with now. Looking back, I've bounced back from what I felt was the worst case of tilt I'd encounter.

Poker is not a way to make easy money. It never has been and never will be. But with discipline, study, practice and focus there's no reason why September cant show another 100% increase to my BR.

Can I do it?
Will I do it?
Wait 30 more days and we'll all find out.